Recently I’ve been doing a lot of work to lose weight. I’ve come to a few aha-moments I’d like to share.
1) You don’t lose weight, you get rid of it.
There is no point in losing weight if your planning on finding it again. You get rid of it, and all the clothes that don’t fit and things that remind you of your past fat life.
2) Cut the bullshit, you can beat her
I used to be able to talk myself into having another cupcake, another candy, another portion etc. If you can manipulate yourself into it, you can manipulate yourself out of it. There is no reason why you do not deserve to feel good about yourself. All those things you stuff into your mouth is just a quick fix for happiness that is indescribable, one you will reach with hard self control and a set goal. You know yourself, but you are your own enemy in this fight. You have the upper hand because your enemy is your old you. I started monitoring my behaviour, becoming aware of it. Like when I was bored I would go to the fridge, open it, stare aimlessly and close it again. Even worse I would snatch something and eat it. My guilty eating had a pattern of me eating something really fast, like if I would eat it fast I wouldn’t notice it, out of sight out of mind. During stress I would gulp my food like a speed eating champion. Monitor your old you’s behaviour. Like Sun Tzu said: Know thyself, know thy enemy.
3) Measurable, realistic and timed
For you to be able to get a goal in your head, you need to set a ultimate goal and milestones. For me my ultimate goal is to look like a goddess on my wedding day. But this isn’t a set goal. It needs to be measurable, so my goal is to weigh around 74-75kg, that means I would be in a normal BMI range. I’m also planning on getting my fat percentage down and my visceral fat within the 2-4% range. I also set a goal to have my waist measurement below 80cm to decrease risk of diabetes etc. I started in August, so my half-way goal was in December, -5kg and being comfortable in a bikini. I also made a deal with my self that I would go shopping with a stylist once I’m half way, which I did and it was awesome. Here’s a tip that might shock you: Do not stare at the weight on the scale! Muscle weighs more than fat, and I’m building muscle as I train so weight in kilos is not the whole truth. I measure myself, chest, waist, hip, ass, thighs and arms every week or two weeks and calculate the difference. That way I see how many cm I”ve lost. I also measure in clothing size and my all around happiness 🙂 I also pinned some of my favourite images to keep me motivated.
4) Nothing happens over night
It takes 28 days to get over a bad habit. So once you leave sugar, glutens, milk or whatever it is, do not expect your system to start working as it should before your body has cleansed out all the c*ap that’s in you. You are what you eat, it’s that simple. I fought with my weight for three!!! years. And by fighting I mean trying to get rid of weight and failing, over and over again. I used to eat mostly healthy and had a moderate work out schedule but nothing was happening. Then I left out all sugars, but that wasn’t enough. When I went zero dairy products things started happening. Once I got rid of gluten my body finally got the fuel it needed to burn fat and feel good. Be patient, give yourself two months at least, and be realistic about the results.
5) Not all diets work
I’m on the paleo path in life. It works for me. But it might not work for everyone. I’ve tried Atkins, Xtravagnza, Tim Ferriss’ diet, low carb high fat, low carb low fat, god nows what. For me it was the dairy products that messed up everything. I’m probably dairy protein allergic, and eating foods that you are sensitive too can make you gain weight. In the dairy product case I read it can result in as much as 15kg weight gain, so I’ve been fighting w
indmills. A yucky but effective way is to listen to your stomach and check what comes out. If your constipated or if you have diarrhea often somethings not right, it’s that simple.
6) Write a happiness diary
Get a little small book that can go with you everywhere. Every time you get a sense of happiness, write it down. Like yesterday I had lost a kg, in just a week! Yey!
7) Lets work out really hard and rehydrate with margaritas!
After this hard work out I can have a glass of wine. NO! First you lose weight and reach your goal, then you start balancing. If you do this fooling yourself while your on the track to becoming the new you, it’s like taking one step forward one step back, you’ll end up never leaving the base plate. Buy yourself some flowers, a makeover, go to the hairdressers, some sexy underwear, whatever.
8) Work-out myths
Up to 70% of weightloss is diet, this is completely depending on your own body and how it works but for me it’s at least 60%. No matter how hard you work out, it won’t matter if you eat incorrectly.
I’m starting to believe there are only a few main moves at the gym worth doing, the rest is fine-tuning. They are: Squats, Burpees, Plank, Benchpress and Push-ups. I get the best kick if I do these and in between them some pulse lifting one minuters like jumping rope. I need both weight lifting AND cardio. I hate running, and after doing a half marathon without basically any training I decided to never embark on that path again. However, I did decide to do a triathlon at some point. It’s much more versatile training, swimming is awesome and it’s doesn’t make you go crazy with boredom like I get from running. (After 3km I’m allready thinking of ways out of it, and I start to dance or stop at some outside gym or something, just to not run 😀 )
I’ve been adding training time gradually, because it felt quite overwhelming when a trainer at my gym said I needed 5 times a week. Last week was a extremely good week with 5 times of yoga, one gym and one run. This week was just one time yoga, two work-outs and one run. I’ve made a deal with my self that I train five times a week of which to are yoga which I do not count as work out, it’s just a long wierd stretch which does you good but doesn’t burn fat. So three times a week of which, depending on me and my trainers mood is either 2xcardio or 2xgym.
I have a personal trainer, for me it works the best. I hear his nagging voice when I want to stuff my face with a cream donut, and I hear him when I lie on my sofa doing nothing. I’m a pleaser by nature who always wants to do things for others instead of for myself, so having a trainer is good, I make him happy which makes me happy. If your not like me, and want to do things for yourself, you do not necessarily need a trainer to lose weight. It might be good to have one once in a while to update your programmes etc. but I know exactly what to do when I come to the gym, but for me I want my trainer with me. Remember: money, or the lack of it, is no excuse to lose weight, you do not even need a gym to lose weight, but it does make it easier.
9) It’s not allways sunshine and rainbows
Everytime I get a flu, I crawl into the old me, snuggle up on the couch and feed my selfpitying excuse of a human with everything I can lay my hands on. I somehow think I deserve it because I’m sick and noone but me is feeling sorry for me. It sucks. Because after the flu, when your feeling great that your out of the misery you quickly fall back into it once you step on the scale and realize that your back in square one. Same goes for a weekend bender with friends, with the nightly kebab with fries or a hangover pizza etc. Monday morning, which is a gloomy day anyway, and your week is allready ruined. This is the start of a downward spiral, because I would then think: “f*ck it, I allready screwed up so it doesn’t matter”, and then eat something else that definately should not go into my stomach, like a huge portion of pasta with creamy sauce. This downward spiral is also when you start gaining weight instead of losing it, so be careful! I’ve been trying to lose weight (mark the trying, and losing word), ie. I tried but failed, I lost but gained. For every kilo lost I got at least two back. Back in 2005 when I graduated from highschool I felt really fat. I wish I had understood then how skinny I really was, because from there to the summer of 2013 I gained at least 15kg. This is the first time I’ve actually done the math and it hurts to say so. I’m so angry with myself, because it is so much harder to lose weight than balance what you have and now I’m paying a very high price for my past mistakes. Don’t do the same mistake, lose weight once.
Remember: you are responsible for your own happiness. No one can make you happy, but you can share your happiness with some one. No one is to blame for your weight. I used to blame my childhood bullies, my family, my work routine etc etc. Yes, maybe they had something to do with why I had problems with my self worth or self concept but they are not to blame for all the bad choices I’ve made and they definately do not get a say anymore. I used to fall into a bad spiral everytime my dad would point out I’m “big boned”. He never meant it in a mean way, more like a very painful truth I didn’t want to hear. It was true, and he wasn’t to blame for it. When I met my now to-be husband I used to be angry because I gained at least 8kg during the 6 years we’ve now been together. Like it was his fault! It’s not like he stuffed me with big macs or pizza, yes he eats a lot more junk food than any other person I know, but I could have opted for a salad, a low carb alternative or just not eat that junk. Life is choices, and you make them, not the people around you.
I’m a control freak, I book things waay in advance, I hate to leave things to chance and I hate when something changes that affects me but I can’t control. Eating was the only thing I didn’t have control over, and that in some sick way was satisfying. However, discipline is a stronger satisfaction and gives me a kick. By refraining from eating something, and opting on healthier foods I get a kick. Studies show that people with self-control are happier people. Think about children, if you let them go about with no sets of rules or boundaries they end up unfullfiled and unhappy. When you challenge your self and self control you get a feeling of accomplishment which boosts your confidence and with the results you will see it’s going to be a hundred times more rewarding than those cookies in front of you.