When I got back to New York I tried to do damage control, but just before easter, when I had suddenly gained 2kg and everything seemed so unfair I collapsed back into old habits and the thoughts in my head became stronger and stronger, manipulating me into comfort eating and breaking my diet and self discpline. I noticed the change but I was too weak to do something about it. Now I’m just angry and dissapointed in myself, which isn’t really making things any better. So I decided to call some forces to help me. My sister was on the phone with me for a total of 1,5h yesterday, it felt good to vent with someone who knows me and knows how much damage your unhealthy thoughts can do to you. I also called my old life coach and scheduled a meeting with him next monday. He is the best guy for this kind of stuff, he will ask me the questions that need answers in order for me to move forward. I also contacted my old personal trainer, because he has seen me in this state before, and maybe he will have a solution. It’s hard to explain the mode I am in now, but it’s not a good place, hence I haven’t been blogging for a while. I need to get my head straight and get back track.