Opinions opinions

I usually don’t vent about stuff but this is a thing that has been bothering me a while. I don’t know why, but people seem to have a need to have their opinion heard, wether it’s a good one or not. It’s like we are trained to do so no matter what the situation. This nee situation with having our first baby is confusing enough, and having people give advice and opinions without me asking for them doesn’t make it any better. For the most part I end up more confused, or I feel that I’ve done something wrong or will do something wrong and all those birth stories are making me terrified. Bad advice and opinions or inconsiderate opinions can be hurtful, so how about this:
1) If you aren’t asked to give your opinion on a subject, don’t. Just smile and nod, say something nice!

2) If you feel the urge, ask first wether the person want’s your opinion or not, if not, return to rule number one.

3) If the person does wan’t your opinion, choose your words wisely, and be understanding and empathetic, try to understand the persons perspective and do not start by reviewing your own life or experiences.

A very recent example
Person 1) So how goes with baby preparations?
Person 2) We bought a baby stroller today!
1) Really, what kind?
2) Oh, it’s a carrier with two turning wheels in front so it’ll roll good on sand and has feature [add buying decision features here]
1) Oh that kind.. well I think the better option would have been to have… [add every feature the just bought stroller doesn’t have]
2) ….. [feeling inadequate as a stroller buyer and stupid for having said anything at all]

-or-
Person 1) So how goes with baby preparations
Person 2) We bought a baby stroller today!
1) Really, what kind?
2) Oh, it’s a carrier with two turning wheels in front so it’ll roll good on sand and has feature [add buying decision features here]
1) Oh, that sounds great! Does it fit your needs?
2) Yeah, I really feel it does and we got it for a good price
1) [add the smile and wave phrase like The main thing is that your happy with your stroller, good job for getting a good price]

Which one sound like a nicer casual conversation to have over coffee that doesn’t end in awkwards silence? 🙂

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