Baby love

My darling, my little one, just ten months have passed since I held you in my arms, and yet it seems like lightyears away, and at the same time like it was yesterday. It’s a cliché I know, but you are growing up so fast, learning new things everyday. I remember when I was packing boxes in our old flat and all what was left of your things unpacked was your playmat and sitter, and yoy were perfectly content with them. Then, a month later you rolled over, and then you sat up by five months. A month later you were pulling yourself forward and by eight you were crawling, and fast. And the speed picks up, since november you have learned how to take support and moving sideways along tables, you no longer fall down to sit, you squat dowb, balanced, controlled. As you reach for things to hold on to, there are a few seconds in between when you stand on your own. And when I let go of me and stand for a second two you give that cunning smile of yours, like you know what’s coming next.

It’s not only motoric skills like balancing, walking supported or the fact that you can pick up the tiniest of morsels, it’s so much more. Less than two weeks ago you started pointing at things, and listening carefully to what we say the objects are. You have a stronger will than before, like the yesterday as you tried opening a sliding cabinet door and it wouldn’t open. You are talking, we do not know what you say but you are practicing. I’ve heard you whisper “sassy”, “lampa”, “pappa” like you want to keep them secret until you are sure you manage the words. You also know the word no, and you know what it means, and you are allready testing mummys and daddys willpower. We know you know. As I’ve been working since january I come home and see you do yet another newly learned skill almost every day. It is honestly heartbraking for me to know I’m missing so much, and at the same time my heart swells with pride. You are such a good girl and I love you.

It is a rare moment to have you in my arms, you want to wriggle free and explore all that the world has to show you. If I try to hold you you get mad. The only times is if you need comfort or food, and I love those moments, and I know they too will fade away in time. But everynow and then in the middle of your adventures you come crawling, climb up on me and give me a kiss. Please never stop doing that. It means I matter, even though I’m not there every single day. And your smile when I come get you in the morning, as you jump up and down in excitement, there is no better way to start a morning, no matter how badly the night has been.

I love you ❤


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