Whoa, the big one, the subject most womens magazines make their ka-tsching on. “How to look fabulous”- “Loose a few pounds, look great”, “How to get that beach body in three months” and so on.
I have never been happy with my body. When I was around eight I was allready teased because I had some junk in the trunk, a big ass. Luckily, thank you Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian, I’m off the hook with that one now, but I wasn’t then. I also was the tallest in my class, a little clumsy, never the sporty type and I felt like a walrus, all the time. The thing is you can have a self esteem like million dollars and have low self conscience at the same time. Fake it til’ you make it so to say.
After high school, getting rid of my childhood traumas of being bullied for my weight, never really finding a path to a good me my weight slowly but surely started to rise. It came sneakly, and since I felt bad regardless my weight I didn’t see it. I remember me being 72kg back in 2005, and then feeling as big, as fat as I felt at my pregnant max at nearly 100kg! Now looking back I bang my head against the wall because 72 is now my goal weight, I was there then, I was there two years ago in July. I have gone from 86 to 72 to 99 to 76 in three years, talk about yoyo dieting! Haha, in between was some crazy ass workout, dieting and a baby, a Crohns diagnosis and , well, me! The point is, it doesn’t matter what your body looks like unless you feel good about yourself. There are gorgeus fitnessmodels in my gym that compare their invisible lovehandles, and I want to punch them 😀 no one is more insecure than them!
Pregnancy and being a mum has made me become more forgiving towards myself, and now training isn’t mandatory and a chore, it’s a way of self expression, and a way for me to clear my head. I’m also able to laugh at myself more than before and see the good, not the bad. Like today I saw I had a waist and boobs! Yey! That evens out my pick up truck wide ass 😉 more squats it is! And I bet your ass (or mine as it’s a bigger bet) I will be back at 72, and this time feel damn good about it!
Here’s me 2014, just found out I was preggers:
This was me a year ago:
Yes, it’s the same person! And I felt the same! Crazy huh!